tongue

m01450

TITLE: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

No, that isn't a self portrait! I plan to be a little light in this study because it is some heavy material and I want you to go away with a smile on your face even thought the Word may have been heavy on your toes.

Back in the 50's and 60's it was popular to talk about how ugly another person was. Phrases like, "Someone must have beat you with an ugly stick!" or "Did you take a whole bottle of ugly pills today?" were popular. We want to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly today.

I would like to speak about the tongue this morning. Someone has aptly said, "A dog is smarter than some people. It wags its tail and not its tongue."

I trust that as we leave this morning we will have learned not to wag our tongues.

INTRODUCTION

I. The importance of the tongue

II. The badness of the tongue

III. The goodness of the tongue

CONCLUSION

INTRO:

A number of years ago I worked for an electrical company in Nebraska as a combination TV repair and appliance repairman.

I went to an older woman's home one day to work on her ancient oven and found that she needed some insulators for some wires that came through the back of the oven.

I returned to the shop and could find none, so ask some of the other men that worked there, and no one knew of any so we ordered some new insulators.

As the weeks passed the woman became more belligerent and after about a month my employer became very upset with the whole situation and began to look for something that we could make insulators with. As we looked and thought it dawned on him that we might have something way in the back of the store. We went back and after much digging in some ancient repair parts that everyone had forgotten about we found just the parts for the oven.

I was instructed to go out immediately to do the repair and get the woman off my employers back. That's one of the privileges of being the boss!

As I arrived at the woman's home, I noticed the screen door was broken. As she answered the door she was pleased to see me. I offered to fix the door for her and she said she would appreciate it. As I repaired the door, she began asking about the parts and when they came in. Well you know old honest Abe - he never tells a half truth - I told her what had happened.

She turned beet red and said, "YOU MEAN THE PARTS WERE THERE ALL THE TIME?". I replied in the positive. She clobbered me with the back of her hand across the chest and said,"YOU BIG DUMMY!" and stormed off into the house.

That was once that I had a soft tongue. I didn't even hit that old woman!

As I was working on the oven, I found that I needed help to hold the oven while I installed the parts so I called the shop and asked one of the men - one of the boss’ sons to came out to help. Jerry was a new Christian and wore his hair fairly long and had a mustache, remember this was in the 70's. The woman took one look at Jerry and walked out of the room with a loud grunt. Totally upset to have a DUMMY and a long hair HIPPIE in her house and BOTH AT THE SAME TIME.

We completed the repairs and left with great relief. About an hour later I was sitting at the desk near the sales floor doing some paper work when you know who walked in red as a beet. I didn't run and hide but the temptation was great! She walked over to Jerry and started shaking her finger in his face and hollering at him. In essence she chewed him out for being a dirty hippy and that he was NEVER TO ENTER HER HOUSE AGAIN AND THAT SHE WAS GOING TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER ABOUT HIM. (He was the owner’s son.)

Jerry showed great Christian maturity and did not hit her either. He just said, "Okay I won't come to your house" and walked away.

Evidently the woman didn't know that "a loose tongue can lead to loose teeth."

Someone else has aptly stated, "Some people have learned that a sharp tongue often invites a split lip."

By the way do you know what she was doing when I was working on the oven the first time I was in her home? She was sitting at the kitchen table working on her Sunday School lesson. She was the teacher of the older women's class in her church.

One more example of the misuse of a tongue.

When I was in high school one of the cute young ladies that had moved from our town came back to visit. Everyone wanted to spend some time with her but I was the only one that had a car.

Yep, she wanted to go with me. Along the way, the conversation allowed four or five others to be invited as well. We took off for a ride in the country and as things progressed one of the other fellows wanted to drive.

I turned the wheel over to him so I could talk to the young lady. Over a period of an hour I wasn't watching where the friend was going and rather sheepishly he said, "Stan, do you know where we are?"

I had no idea where we were. I saw nothing familiar anywhere. I took over the wheel and started driving and looking. After about another half hour I finally realized where we were and it wasn't good.

We were quite a way south of a town that was 15 miles west of our hometown. That in ruff figures was about 60 minutes past "time in" for one of the fellows.

To shorten the story, we arrived in the drive way of the young man and his father was waiting in front of the house.

He came storming out to meet us. He ripped open my door and literally chewed me up and spit me back into the driver’s seat.

He was so red in the face and angry, I was sure he was going to have a heart attack.

He finally finished calling me a hood, contributor to his sons delinquency, a trouble maker and delinquent and ended by telling me never to be found on his property again, and never to have anything to do with his son again.

I considered some wise words for the man but refrained. I told him that I would not come around again.

As I drove away, everyone in the car was trying to figure out why the man had been so upset with me. He hadn't even allowed us to tell him what happened. He had never met me before and it was the first contact I had with his son.

At the time I knew that the man and his family attended the church where some of the people had been talking to me about spiritual things. In fact most of the kids were from that church and several apologized for his actions. They were very embarrassed.

I wondered at the time about the man's actions. I really never understood why he was so terribly angry.

I will finish the account, because I don't want to leave the man in a bad light. He came to me one day several weeks later when I was working with four other teenagers and asked if he could talk to me.

I am not sure if I cringed or not. He started talking in front of the other fellows, and apologized on the spot for his actions and told me that he was way off base for giving me a hard time.

As yet an unsaved person, I must admit that what he did impress me. This man was a ruff-neck, and operated big heavy machinery and it took a very big man spiritually to come to talk to a duck tailed hood in front of other teenagers.

I must admit that I was impressed with the man and the same thought entered my mind about his church.

"But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, who are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be." James 3:8-10

I. The importance of the tongue.

"The tongue is the doorway to a man's strength, the window to a man's soul and the weakness of a man's character if he chooses to misuse it." (A ruff quote from one of my past pastors Pastor Churilla)

[to repeat] "The tongue is the doorway to a man's strength, the window to a man's soul and the weakness of a man's character if he chooses to misuse it."

The tongue - so important a part to our body yet how ugly and cruel it can be.

It is used in chewing, in tasting, in derision if we stick it out, in swallowing and speaking.

Medical books list it as a "muscular organ".

A muscular organ, I wonder what kind of music we play with our organ. My wife can do wonderful things on the organ, yet I'm sure I could make some very foul sounding music as well with the same instrument.

The tongue can be sweet to the ear or terrible to the ear.

They say that, "Conversation is an exercise of the mind, but gossiping is merely an exercise of the tongue." HUMMMMMM!!!!

A doctor will look at your tongue to find indicator of some physical problems. We took one of our children into the doctor many years ago and the doctor listened to the symptoms and took one brief look at the child's tongue and said he is dehydrated and we need to get him to the hospital immediately. The tongue is important in many ways.

There is hope for us older folks however for they say, "Our vigor wanes with middle age, we find our footsteps lagging, our backbones creak, our sight grows dim, and yet our tongues keep wagging."

The tongue is such an important tool.

With the tongue politicians are made and broken.

With the tongue treaties are set. And just as easily broken.

With the tongue souls are comforted.

With the tongue the Gospel is made known.

With the tongue our souls are fed.

With the tongue we praise God.

YES, THE TONGUE IS OF GREAT IMPORTANCE!

Yet we can so easily turn the tongue into an instrument of brutality in the split second that it takes our mind to shift it from good to evil.

II. The badness of the tongue.

Medical doctors measure physical health by how the tongue looks. The Great Physician measures spiritual health by how the tongue acts.

Let us look for a moment now at some of the misuses of the tongue.

Consider your own tongue as we move through this list.

The tongue can be involved in: Lying, gossip, backbiting, exaggeration, misrepresentation, promising to do and not doing, profanity, using the Lord's name in vain, cutting remarks, sarcasm, boasting, false flattery, crude language, off color jokes and stories not telling the whole story, excuses, character assassination, and twisting of what another says.

"Guy H. King writes: 'The deadly drug does not need to be taken in large doses - a drop or two will suffice; and the tongue does not need to distill long speeches, it has but to drop a word, and the mischief is set afoot. Thus has a peace been ruined, thus has a reputation been blackened, thus has a friendship been embittered, thus has a mind been poisoned, thus has a life been blasted. Let a child's rhyme point the same moral -

'I lost a very little word, only the other day;

It was a very naughty word I had not meant to say.

But, then, it was not really lost - when from my lips it flew,

My little brother picked t up, and now he says it too!''" (Lehman Strauss's/James, Your Brother)

Parents beware - what is true in brothers in this case is true of families - as in parents and children and I don't mean we as parents pick up the kids wrong language - examples and attitudes.

Let us consider some of the ways the tongue can hurt another. Maybe your tongue!

Cutting remarks: "YOU HOOD!" or "YOU BIG DUMMY" There I was fixing her screen door free of charge and she cuts my head off and hands it to me!

Sarcasm: "YOU DELINQUENT!" or "YOU DIRTY HIPPIE!" This one is often disguised as humor. Remember the "Political Humor" cartoons in the newspaper? Some of these are so cutting that they almost bleed. It is sad to say that Christians often couch some of their cutting remarks in "humor" form as well.

Gossip: I think that most of us know what gossip is and how wrong it is for the believer to be involved.

Slander: We knew a man in Nebraska that was pastoring a large church and one of his parishioners decided to get rid of him. She tried the normal channels and finally in frustration charged him publicly with making obscene phone calls to her. The pastor had to resign and move away within a couple of months. The slander took root and ruined a good ministry.

Polonius in one of Shakespeare's works mentions,

"Who steals my purse steals trash," HUMMMM he must have been a taxpayer in this country.

"Who steals my purse steals trash,

But he who filches from me my good name

Robs me of that which not enriches him

And leaves me poor indeed."

Slander never benefits - it only hurts others.

Misinformation: Relaying what you've heard without checking it out. When teaching at a Bible Institute in Wyoming we were told that a barber in a town about 60 miles away was spreading the word that the school was Charismatic. One of the churches in the town had called us as interim pastor and the barber, who was also the pastor of an independent Baptist church, was condemning the church for having me, a charismatic, filling their pulpit.

One of the members set the barber straight - that I was not Charismatic, that the school was not Charismatic and that the church was not Charismatic - but I often wondered how many people didn't come to the church because of him. I also have wondered if he ever told those people that he had misinformed that he had been incorrect.

We could go on to other ways that the tongue can hurt, we could mention wickedness, we could mention evil, we could mention lying, we could mention deceit, we could mention perversion, we could mention falsehood, we could mention vanity, we could mention flattery, we could mention craftiness, we could mention iniquity and we could mention wickedness, all of which are directly linked to the tongue.

I think it will suffice it to say that the tongue certainly can be wicked! Indeed, we fail to know how wicked, because the people we hurt with our tongues very seldom reveal how injured they are!

Many Christians do not even know how their tongue affects others. They just run it, business as usual, and wonder why they have no friends.

Possibly a little quiz would help you to know if you have a problem with your tongue.

1. Do you often use terms and phrases like, "Have you heard about?", "Did you know?", "Someone told me" or "I heard?” These oft times are introductory to gossip.

2. Do you hurt peoples feelings? If you do your tongue may be involved.

3. Do you offend people even when "You're doing right?" Again, if you offend, your tongue may be involved.

4. Are people open with you when you talk to them, or are they shallow and standoffish? They may be reacting to your tongue.

5. Do you admit error on your own part? (If you acknowledge error to yourself and don't admit it to others, your silence is a lie.)

6. Is your conversation always honoring to God and His principles? Shady stories, off color language, crude language etc. are all an offense of the tongue. I see more and more believers operating here all the time.

7. Do people just drop by to talk with you? A person without tongue trouble is usually easy to talk to - enjoyable to be with.

8. Do people answer questions you ask, freely and openly? Hesitancy to answer may mean that they are afraid of what you will do with what they say.

9. Do you have any close friends that really talk to you? Again, tongue trouble forces people away. I know people with tongues that are always at the ready to injure or to downgrade. They are always at the ready to strike out. I find myself avoiding these people. I will avoid speaking to them. Indeed, I find that I will avoid them period to be sure that I don't have to speak to them. At times I have taken myself into hand and said, "Now, this is ridiculous - let's just go and talk to the person - it can't be that bad! When I leave the person I usually am in the "Regret mode" of operation.

It is only natural for you to begin to avoid a person with a sharp tongue. If you kick a dog enough times you will train him to avoid you, cower or bite back. The human being will take only so much abuse before they get the message and quite exposing themselves to abuse - indeed they may bite back.

III. The goodness of the tongue.

On the other hand we must consider a story from antiquity.

I have been told that the Jewish Talmud has a story that tells of a king that once sent forth two messengers into the world.

One was to bring back the most beautiful thing in the world.

The other was to bring back the most terrible thing that he could find.

The messengers returned and presented their finds to the king.

They both gave the king a tongue.

Yes, the tongue can do great and wonderful things which we need to realize and apply to our lives.

The scripture says many things about the tongue. There are approximately twenty-two places where good things are mentioned about the tongue. There are about twice that many references to the misuse of the tongue.

It is of interest that there are about as many good things that a tongue can do as there are bad things for it to do. There is a heavy emphasis on the fact that the tongue can lie and be deceptive.

Perhaps just a little mention of this area would be good. Lying and deceit of the tongue are linked to wickedness, evil, mischief, proud looks, wrongful gain, and hate in Scripture. Jer. 9:5 gives light to the liar. "And they will deceive everyone his neighbor, and will not speak the truth; they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity."

If a person can teach their tongue to speak lies then we are left to assume that we can also teach our tongues to act properly.

As a father, a man has authority to campus, curfew, limit, ground and punish his children, but that is overkill for a one year old that spits out his spinach! A father can use many types of punishment but a well placed softly spoken phrase can be more discipline than a child desires to have. Prov. 25:15 mentions that the soft tongue can break bones and I think this is the most painful of punishments of a father.

When I as a teenager - yes I was one once long long ago in the days of yore! - any way I wrecked my father’s car. He drove an old 39 Chevy up into the mid fifties because he could not afford anything newer. He had waited many years to get another car and it was a large investment for him. His first reaction was a simple statement of frustration and hurt. He made no comment for two months. We couldn't afford to have it repaired properly so we fixed it with used parts. I mentioned one day as we were working on the car that it had really taken a long time to get it fixed. His soft bone breaking reply was, "But it only took seconds to wreck it."

We want to just mention the things that the tongue can do that are good.

ACCORDING TO SCRIPTURE THE TONGUE CAN:

Defend, speak of God's righteousness, speak of God's praise, sing of God's righteousness, extol good, talk of righteousness, speak of the Word, sing of God's works, can be controlled, is like choice silver, is health to the wise, uses knowledge correctly, breaks bones, and can show love.

With an instrument that is sharp as a razor we can cut so deeply that one does not know it has cut until the blood is seen. YET. With the same instrument we can do these wonderful things that we have just listed.

Many more things can be done with speech. These items we have looked at today are only items that are directly related to the term "tongue" in Scripture. We could go into the terms "mouth" and "speech" and others to find many more!

CONCLUSION: In conclusion we should look at a few things that we need to know.

First of all we need to understand something about the tongue. We need to understand that a Godly life style does not assure a proper tongue. We need to understand that a good devotional life does not assure a proper tongue. We need to understand that a good prayer life does not assure a proper tongue. We need to understand that a high position does not assure a proper tongue. We need to understand that a high income does not assure a proper tongue. In short there is very little in the physical or spiritual realm that will assure a proper tongue!

Secondly, we can see from Scripture that some Godly men did not always have a proper tongue.

1. Moses was barred from the promised land because of his failure to use his tongue as the Lord commanded him to. Num 20:12

2. David in Ps 3:1 mentions, "...I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue;"

3. James the man many call the praying disciple includes himself when he declares in 3:8-9, "But the tongue can NO MAN tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless WE God, even the Father; and therewith curse WE men,"

We are told that the tongue must be bridled or controlled! James 1:26

"If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain."

Indeed, godly men of our own age do not always control their tongues well. I know a Christian leader in the east that is known for his "forthrightness of speech." That is what his admirers say of him. Others feel he has a sharp tongue. He cuts people down for wrong activity in public. This is not proper use of the instrument that God has given us for good.

The question may be in your mind - how do I handle the sharp tongue of another person?

1. Avoid it. 2. Remove yourself from its range. 3. Be careful to offer as few verbal openings as possible for it to slash out. 4. You might confront it but duck quickly - they probably don't realize they have one, and will use it. Confrontation and prayer are both needed.

In the same vain the question may come up - How do I handle a sharp tongue when it's mine? 1. Train it and teach it in correct activities. 2. Apologize when you misuse it. This will be very good training for it. This will be difficult but it is needed. 3. A sharp knife is usually kept in a sheath made of cow hide. Now, I'm not making any comparisons here but God created us with a sheath for our own tongues - our mouth - if you can't control the thing keep it in your mouth! "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue, keepeth his soul from trouble." Prov. 21:23

REMEMBER! "When men hold their tongues you can't tell a fool from a wise man." Wisdom may well lead to silence!

Thirdly we must understand that we will be held accountable for the use of our tongues. Matt. 12:44-47 states, "O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account of it in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned."

EVERY WORD! God knows EVERY word! "For there is not a word in my tongue, but lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether." Ps 139:4

We won't take time to read these references however, Isa 45:23, Ro. 14:11 and Philip. 2:11 all mention that EVERY tongue will confess God or Christ! EVERY TONGUE WILL ONE DAY DO GOOD!

Fourthly we need to understand how we learn to misuse our tongues. First of all we learn to speak by training, teaching and practice. We learn to praise by training, teaching and practice. Thus it is safe to assume we learn to hurt with our tongue by training, teaching and practice. Yes, there is the thought that we can't rule the evil thing and that is assumed. What we are talking about now is the cultivation of that evil thing. We can cultivate it in a good direction, or we can cultivate it in a bad direction.

Fifthly we need to realize that the tongue can even turn upon its owner. "So they shall make their own tongue to fall upon themselves;" (Ps 64:8)

When in college we had a young lady that was very high on her own priority list. She thought she was super special. She tended to put others down to lift herself up.

One evening at a party we pulled out a test that we had picked up in a magazine that tested personality traits with colors. There were ten colored squares and you were to place the colors in the order of preference.

The young lady insisted that she try it. I was not to happy to let her because several had tried it and it had been very accurate. She arranged the colors and began to read the results. She was only a few sentences into the text when she and all present knew she had been had by her own tongue. The further she read the redder she turned and the slower she read. She survived the experience, but she learned a very hard lesson about herself.

Beware of your own tongue if you misuse it!

Sixthly and lastly we need to know that there is only one answer to the problem of the tongue. The Holy Spirit can control the tongue if He controls our life. Yes, practice of a proper tongue will help. Yes, keeping praises and thanksgiving on our tongue can help. Yet, without the Holy Spirit controlling our life we cannot be assured that the tongue won't slip into areas where it ought not be.

May I read a promise from our God via the book of I Pet. 3:10-12 "For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile; Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil."

Dare I say that God may not be listening to the prayers of the liar, the gossip, the slanderer, the sharp tongued?

May we each one consider the tongue that we use so freely and how it is affecting other people.

If it were the Lord Jesus Christ that you were speaking to, would you use the phrase that you are about to use? Think about this the next time you want to be sarcastic - what if this were Christ you were talking to? Think about this the next time you want to say something cutting - what if this were Christ you were talking to? Think about this the next time you want to think about lying - what if this were Christ you were talking to? Think about this the next time you want to gossip - what if this were Christ you were talking to? Think about this the next time you want to twist something someone has said - what if it were Christ you were talking to or about?

WHAT IF TODAY JESUS WALKED UP TO YOU AND SAID, "GIVE ACCOUNT FOR YOUR TONGUES ACTIVITY THIS WEEK".

MAY GOD HELP US TO BRIDLE OUR TONGUES! We have seen how important the tongue is. We have seen the goodness of the tongue. We have seen the badness of the tongue. Let's not see the ugliness of the tongue in our lives.

May the Lord help us to dwell on this thought as we talk to one another in coming weeks and in coming years in our ministry. May each of us show our love rather than our cutting edge. And remember "No matter which screw in the head is loose, it is the tongue that rattles."